(This post courtesy of Philip Box)
Jenny and Anna are sat in front of the TV. Jenny is an exchange student from the UK and is Staying with Anna in Ukraine. They are watching the news. (BBC World service to be precise).
The headline is UKIP have won another by-election and Nigel Farage mentions something about the people’s army marching on Westminster, to tell their leaders they have had enough of the Westminster political class. The next item involves Russell Brand’s comments in reaction. At a demonstration, he calls UKIP some rude names and for the people to march on Westminster, to give their leaders what for. (presumably not the same people as will be marching for Farage).
“Why are people in the UK so angry?” remarks Anna, as images of demonstrations past begin to flow across the screen; with added apocalyptic commentary, speculation and the odd graphic speech bubble for clarity.
“Lots of people are angry with politicians. Lots of people have said recently that they seem to live in an isolated bubble; higher than average incomes insulating them from economic turbulence and the effects of their policies. The majority come from a particular income bracket, gender and ethic group, living and working in London which increasingly bears little resemblance to the rest of the UK.”
“How so?”
“Oh Property prices, general prosperity, that sort of thing. It’s also annoying that most tourists don’t go further afield to see other aspects of our country.”
“That’s terrible! What are the people doing about this? Surely if the elite are corrupt but masquerading as the representatives of the people it is time for a change! Like in Ukraine, when President Yanukovych claimed to be acting in our interests, but almost sold us to Russia to bankroll his own mansion!” “Oh don’t worry, we’ve got this one under control! We’ve got two revolutionaries and their supporters heading down to London as we speak to sweep away this corrupt oligarchy!”
“Fantastic! Are they hardworking ordinary people like you or I? Or Poroshenko?”
“Indeed they are! One of them has worked so hard he is worth £10.6 million! I’m not sure how he made it, but he must have done a hell of a lot of hard, manual jobs to work his way up that high!”
“And the other?”
“He’s EVEN MORE hardworking and ordinary! He must have laboured long and hard into the night on meagre wage to earn his reward to the tune of £20 million! Not for him the cushy television interviews, business Empires, pointlessly expensive memoires or shameless celebrity culture that bankrolls the current Westminster elite! No sir, he’s worked damn hard. Probably in the mines, or maybe a fireman? Actually, his hair is impractical for that, so maybe he was a nurse or something contributing equally well to our society…” “I think I’ve seen both those guys on telly before…”
“Ok, maybe they have done one or two interviews, but that is only for the greater good of spreading their anti-establishment message far and wide! Using the establishment’s own tools against them and what-not..”
“Have they written books?”
“Oh yes, continuing the tradition of George Orwell and spreading the message, not for profit mind you, all for free to herald the new era! Hence the £5 off in Waterstones! Just £15.99! A bargain for any hardworking proletarian.”
“So like Jesus and Gandhi?”
“Exactly like Jesus and Gandhi. I mean Jesus used his vast personal wealth to spread the message that wealth was bad, whilst maintaining enough in his Swiss bank account to fund his extravagant penchant for home-decor and later his numerous social activities with members of high society. I hear Ghandi did a very effective advertising campaign, and his Newsnight interview was exemplary. He took grass-roots campaigning, rebranded it and gave it a whole new meaning. He made it sexy, glamorous, modern and mainstream, just how it should be.”
“That sounds very similar to Westminster politics…”
“NO Way! These guys are totally different! I mean look at them! They are so edgy. White males of that income bracket are so rare these days.”
“So the solution to a wealthy, detached Westminster elite run by white men with vast business Empires and assets espousing various principles rooted in contrasting egalitarian doctrines; aiming for a fairer society for hard working people on a fair wage is…. Two white, wealthy men with vast business assets espousing political solutions rooted in contrasting egalitarian doctrines?”
“Indeed! Genius isn’t it!”
“Haven’t you already tried that once?”
“You see, those guys don’t mean what they say. They are politicians after all, not humans. These new guys are legit. They are ordinary humans like you or I. I think we can trust them to deliver.”
“Why not try someone with a different kind of life experience? Maybe a woman? What about a grocer’s daughter? Surely that’s the best way to a more egalitarian society? Like Fidel Castro! He took over the State with but a few pennies to his name! A true man of the people! He ran the country like an ordinary man. When he passed the reigns to his brother, he made sure he hadn’t creamed any of Cuba’s revenues for himself, save that which was necessary for him to live…. and that befitting a head of state of course…. He needed that $550 million to secure that most basic dignity. ”
“You’re right! Ordinary people are what we need!”
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